"CATGIRL" -Yup! That's Me...!!

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So once again I traverse the deep seas of my innate passion that at times submerges itself beneath a calm n naive facade but is raging n thrashing in the realm of my heart !! And so the mystery of Catgirl unfolds once again to all who are still mesmerized by my perseverance and many more who are yet to be in awe of it !! Catgirl working undercover as a teacher N Blogger henceforth pronounces herself a hard-core feminist !!! A girl out to protect the "woman-cause' in the world of self-loving male; A girl who would do anything she is capable of to restore the image of women which has been tarnished, even in the modern society ! Catgirl Strikes again !!! (my logo since 12 years)

Sunday, May 22, 2011

What happens when we Give what we Want to -Only!

We all know that a woman loves to celebrate birthdays, anniversaries etc. She always remembers her spouse’s birthday and showers him with all sorts of gifts and affection on his special day. This is what she loved to do, but not what he expected. He may just be ‘mildly pleased’ with that (and earns -50 from his woman). On his turn however, he not only wishes her a day late he also forgets to make her feel grand by not celebrating it the way she imagined it to be (another minus 50 for the man- making it a total of -100).

In this just one situation the woman feels she has given 100% without being asked and still did not get the appreciation she deserved. On the other hand, the man was not so emotional about his birthday and her loving gestures were just an additional burden for him to repay. Hence her giving is of a low value to him without realizing how he has hurt her. Now very soon this man gets a pay-raise and decides to have an exclusive dinner with his Lady. He reserves a table in a grand restaurant and calls her up on the same evening just to give her a surprise only to find out that she has gone to watch a movie with her girlfriends and couldn’t care less for this dinner (maybe just as revenge). For the girl his pay raise ‘mildly pleased’ her as she was not after his money. So she was short of appreciation for him enough to celebrate. She still wished they had wonderful dinner the night of her past birthday.This time around the man feels he has given 100% and has more than made up for his past mistake, but still didn’t get appreciated. So according to the man’s book of rules the woman now gets -100 (-50 for the cancelled reservation and spoiling the mood ,while another -50 for not being too happy like him for the pay raise). Again the man gives what he wanted to give NOT what she wanted or ‘expected’. Hence the vicious circle continues and so does the blame game leading to a slow built up of resentment on both sides- a lava in the making. 

We tend to give what we like to receive or get back while paying little emphasis to what our partner needs as that is of little importance to us. We like to make our partner happy in ‘our own’ ways not how ‘they’ want to be happy. Sounds selfish right??! Hope my point is understood!

 This gives rise to several questions a person asks when left alone after a heated debate.
Will I always be on the giving end?Will my partner keep demanding from me if I accept this time and never pay back the favour?
If I am going to Change my tastes, needs, expectations for my soul mate, will I finally change my whole self?
This leads to another barrage of questions towards the past and future of this relationship. Does (s)he love me at all? If so why does (s)he want me to change ?
Has the love died now and we see each others' true self (initially blurred by the cloud of love) and can’t live together anymore?Is it time for a break-up? Time to move on?

The only safe answer is ------It’s time to think and re-think!!

It’s time to list up all the good/bad and extreme things about each other. But it’s also necessary to give TIME to your partner ALONE. Get some space yourself too. Keep safe distance (total cut-off is detrimental and certainly not necessary if you are too attached). Slowly the negative points you gave to your partner go back to a naught (zero). As you actually compare your partner with other men/women you start handing out positive points on how good your girl/guy had been to you. How they negated their personal values to please you only to see their efforts being ignored by you. You suddenly realize how they changed for you. How innocent their demands were and just a little effort on your part could have added another spark in your relationship igniting it all over again...


Kiran Ashraf said...

i agree with u totally. it happens quiet a lot of time that men and women think that they arent getting enough but actually they arent giving enough either. i believe that if two ppl love each other then they dont have to change their whole self fr the love of their life cuz understanding is the key.

Tauqeer said...

I love this post!

Perception said...

I remember that happening to me too. well there is always slight disconnect but if the couple involved are sincere enough they will figiure out a way to solve the prob

kitkat said...

very lovely post! I'm guilty of doing sweet stuff for guys i've dated in the past with the expectation that they reciprocate the gesture.
Thanks for visiting my blog :)

Enchanta said...

I like the way you put across the facts.
But how awesome it is when we find someone who enjoys what we give and from whom we receive what we want!

Md. Muddassir Shah said...

askm.This is a nice blog you have out here.
The followers widget is not dispalying at all, I cannot see the follow button or the avatars of your followers.

CATGIRL !! said...

Mr.Mudassir ..thanku for ur comments. most of my widgets seem to hav gone bonkers. kindly see the 'follow' button on the top bar till i fix this up !!

Shaan said...

Awesome Post Again ..

seeems like you are on again ..
I can just wonder about the intensity of this post ..
2 Thumbs Up =]

CATGIRL !! said...

Heyy Shaaaaaaannn,
am so glad to hav u back. y don't u write anymore?
n oh yes. wud u like to befriend me on facebook?

Shaan said...

Cat Girl , Actually i do write but im not being so blog-genik Nowadays .. Exams and entry tests You Know ..:s
Do Check My recent post "A bit of Blue sky" ..It aint that long as i normally write but i want YOUR comments on that post :)

And Yea why Not .. Add me or Give me the link , i'll do it !

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