"CATGIRL" -Yup! That's Me...!!

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So once again I traverse the deep seas of my innate passion that at times submerges itself beneath a calm n naive facade but is raging n thrashing in the realm of my heart !! And so the mystery of Catgirl unfolds once again to all who are still mesmerized by my perseverance and many more who are yet to be in awe of it !! Catgirl working undercover as a teacher N Blogger henceforth pronounces herself a hard-core feminist !!! A girl out to protect the "woman-cause' in the world of self-loving male; A girl who would do anything she is capable of to restore the image of women which has been tarnished, even in the modern society ! Catgirl Strikes again !!! (my logo since 12 years)

Sunday, July 11, 2010

(Nerve)-BREAKING NEWS !!


Whoa! Our whole news reporting scenario has changed dramatically. There’s no other word that can describe the style of live news better! Our News Channels literally take in avid drama followers for a ride. And what a roller coaster ride it is! With all the spice and chill and it has to offer, cooking channel viewers also like to delve in breaking news from time to time. Initially only major events, proceedings like govt. progress, politics, sports, international affairs, financial news were given coverage in a pre-defined format and presented in a sophisticated manner. God forbid the ‘manner’ part is nowhere to be see now. Every teeny bit of news is scratched off to the last cellular proton or neuron it is composed of.  I wish I can really write this post in Urdu as it is our news medium. Even Dawn News had to lay out their best of weapons to conform to local comprehension needs in Urdu. Hehehehe. Poor Farangis! How else can we feed our Awam the ‘chatkhara’ part without using local language? (even my reaction box below is labeled ‘interesting-chatkharaydar’ ! :pppp ) 
Nowadays whether it is a bomb blast, a showbiz/ sports person’s marriage, American raid, parliamentarian antics,Talibans or a pan wala’s misery on being thrown out of the house by the landlord- every inch of detail will be ‘detailed’ further. Like the 27 blood tests they ask you to get done in an expensive hospital after a normal flu attack.
Here’s how it all gets reported, (but in Urdu).
“Jee Asgher! What is the condition in Sadder area now after the blast?”
“Well Kamran Sahab, i can see pieces of limbs from people’s bodies flying all around me. The blast took away the lives ofmen, women, girl, boy, ladies, gentleman, humans and babies. The suicide bomber didn’t even care about the babies(as if they would earn extra dollars for precautions)…. Oh I just spotted this fleshy thing below my feet. Wait, let me see what it is. I think it’s s human heart. Camera focus please! Oh no! Kamran Saheb, it’s a goat’s kidney. My God! The situation is out of our hands. The poor goat will never forgive the bomber. We will contact the Interior Minister soon to grant money to the motherless lamb now.
On the entertainment front ,
“Jee Navaid Saheb, I can see Sania wearing jeans in Pakistan now. It seemed unreasonable for the bride to spend a lot of money to buy something below the knee- only for a short time in Susraal .So we have investigated the Shoaib’s khala zaad’s wife’s brother-in-law, Mr. Shakeel and he informed us on the condition of “anonymity” that Shoaib lent it to her. But what will he wear himself now? We would like our eager viewers to sms and tell us their views on how long this marriage can continue with the groom lending his clothes to protect ‘Qaum ki izzat”? What will be the after-effects of giving all his pants to Sania? Will he play 20-20 in Sania’s skirts then………..............................? Keep waiting for more updates!”
 
p.s. Oh plzz all of U out there! Stop Laughing!! 
As if I told u that Edward Collins just proposed Meera ! Go n do ur Sunday chores now !!!!!!!!!!!!

25 comments:

Syeda Zehra said...

Ha Ha ha..
This is totally hilarious ..:)
Cute criticism.But I suppose who'll watch the news channels if there's no thrill in them,huh?

Versha Qazi said...

I agree!! so damn true! our newx soundx more like commentary!!

Ram said...

i agree with you...

Daanish said...

Funny prospective,it look like citizen of Pakistan are brain washed by these nerve breaking news.No one care about problems of common people:electricity,jobs,safety.

Do you know Presidency,Parliment,COAS,any beauricrat get load shedding? nope.

They don't care,they have dual citizenship,their children are live in foreign countries.

Why we ave given them Right to rule our country?

There should be a constitutional ammendment to block people with living in foreign countries10 years before or after seeking any government position to bar them. that's it !

Aazar ali shad said...

Google ads Clicked :P....Well this post is good. I hate breaking news....Nosheen Buhat important kaam hai........

Aazar ali shad said...

I liked the post.........I dont like futile news breakers :S .........They are so damn profit driven :S

Americanising Desi said...

the end was just the best ;)

Happy Sunday to You!

and yes I am returning your follow :)

Tauqeer said...

Hahah very well written post...love the Sania part:P

*Yes I followed their wedding very 'closely' lol

CATGIRL said...

@Danish : i completely agree wid ur propositions. our ministers hav whole families living outside esp their children being educated n serving a foreign land !! Thanx for dropping by though !

@Azaar : important kaam? email one? i know i know. i also hav to update u on how busy i m. but ur work will be done in 3days..ok??

@Americanising Desi : finally i managed to bring u on my blog. i think i messaged u 2 months earlier when my blog was budding n bland. but now it does attract great ppl. like u :-)))

Aazar ali shad said...

Ok......Check your Fb. And tell me , why are you so bzy? Since so many days, I have not talked to u. Btw, You are getting popular :D

oldie goldie said...

thanks for the visit and comment.

i find your blog interesting and this post was funny lol.. what kind of news is that? here you find that style in yellow news papers only :P

would be nice to have you visit again and maybe follow me too. :D . i don't always post only daily stuff, you might want to check my older posts..

<nd now.. it's 7 am here and i didn't even go to sleep yet. i'll be back another time to read more.

CATGIRL said...

yeah ofcourse..Miss Goldie.. i hav followed urs too. and yeah i exaggerated the wording a bit, but the style is alwayys the same! infact now that u open yahoo pages u see whole page stories of every single tear that lindsay lohan(an American actress) dropped!

Shehroz/Ozzy said...

I loved it how you put it all forward! delivers the intended message perfectly and smoothly!

Our media seriously needs a "make-over." Instead of promoting the good Pakistani stuff, they give a bad name to our Pakistan for money! They are the reason for half of the troubles we face here. And ofcourse not to forget the fat, pot-bellied, bearded, ignorant, illiterate, dumbshit politicians who actually "finance/bribe" the media!

Great piece of writing indeed! Witty and humorous!

Shehroz/Ozzy said...

Oh thanks alot for the comment and positive criticism! I really appreciate that! teaches me more! Thanks alot :-)

AND as for the FOLLOWING MY BLOG part, i would suggest this:

on your blogger dashboard, scroll down and you will se an "ADD" button below the tab of "BLOGS I AM FOLLOWING". Click on the ADD button and simply type in my page adress: www.syedshehrozhussain.blogspot.com

see if that works. Thanks alot...

CATGIRL said...

Ozzy, Thanx a lot for weaving sentences of appreciation around this post. n i hav aptly tried to be grateful by following u now !

Mere Drizzle said...

Totally agree U on this, wse i always agree wd u!
A really well written pOst!WD asUsual, titLe sErved as a chErry on a cake's tOp.

bt on a seriOus nOte, r mEdia gOtto get seriOus, dts damaging evErything r anCestOrs had bUilt fOr us, r repUtatiOn (jitni bachi hai), even mEdia is destrOying r valUes nd evrythng! nd dts really hEart-brEaking (r cUrsing cOuld'nt bring a cHange)..
bUt what dn?? *nOw dts da milliOn dOllar qUestiOn*

Anna said...

Very nice post!! I like your blog it's very interesting. I followed, follow back?

CATGIRL said...

yes..ANNA darls suure !! :-))

Sara.H said...

LOL!! this is an interesting post. you are so right about our media. man i am so sick of the exaggerated news now. i have stopped taking interest in all these silly things they have to say

Mere Drizzle said...

fOrgot to add dts Edward CULLEN :p actUally!
nd did I say sOmethng bad :/..?!

CATGIRL said...

My Lovely Drizzle: how can u say anything bad as long as u praise me :PPP u bring me loads of pleasure each time. just that ur small n biggy mixed letters made it a tad difficult to read..
n ur correction reminds me he is actually 'robert pattinson" ..lolzz..(realized it after typing that edward is just a character!!) ;-))).

@Sarah: i dun watch these news either. makes me sick to the stomach. Thanx for being here darls !

democratic-leadership said...

Hilarious post with a great ending. Enjoyed reading it..

Very nice blog you have here and another follower. ;)

HaRy!! said...

hey cattieeee... :) Sania wearing jeans and roaming arnd in pak...:) she never used to here

Hamid said...

salamunalaikum.
Mashallah the blogger head is fantastic with powerful words and beautiful nature's pic as background.Nice to know about you,your qualification and the determination.Sad to know the pathetic condition of pakistan today.
It is said that he who cannot stand for something will fall for everything.

CATGIRL said...

oh Dem -Leader: Welcome aboard. Pleasure to have u here !
Hary.. oh she did visit Pk for one day after marriage
@Hamid: wow..that's a lot of praise. am flattered !! Thank you:-))

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