THAT SHIP!! (part #2)

It is only when a particular landmark is reached, we start missing what we left behind. Maybe we are not able to adjust to our new selves, transformed earlier to make the relationship progress. This is actually a point in our lives, some months down the road, that we are no longer able to contain the anxieties created in us by a clash of practical and romantic life.

The pressure starts building up. The home that was built of precious dreams and priceless efforts suddenly seems so small that we even feel claustrophobic in our house as we just get to see one more person all the time. Otherwise, the same environment, same daily routine may get us feeling utterly bored.

Left without any other person to turn to, we let out all our frustrations on just one being, unreasonably blaming each other for the inconsistencies in our lives. We tend to ‘pick’ on each other. The habits of our partners that were once refreshing seem to clash with our own interests. We have loads of problems followed by heated arguments. No one is ready to compromise. Each expects the other to bow down first. Rules get broken, egos clash and it all turns into a Hurt and Ruin (something like Hit and Run) scenario.

Let’s analyze this scenario closely and try to identify the culprits.

In a relationship usually the first inclination after an argument is to weigh down the whole deal in terms of give and take. Each person thinks he/she is giving more and receiving less. This is hardly due to selfishness if the couple really loves each other (instead of their money, fame, beauty etc). Both of them willingly give more to a relationship in the beginning. Strange enough that in itself might be selfish. Why? You might ask? Well! Just think closely if you are in a relationship, or better still jot down the facts on a piece of paper. Is it really true that what you did to please the other person was their request or pleasure too? Could it be that what you did was something that you wanted him/her to imitate while downplaying your partner’s actual personal likes/dislikes? Let’s take an example here. We all know that a woman loves to celebrate birthdays, anniversaries etc. She always remembers her spouse’s birthday and showers him with all sorts of gifts and affection on his special day. This is what she loved to do, but not what he expected. He may just be ‘mildly pleased’ with that (and earns -50 from his woman). On his turn however, he not only wishes her a day late he also forgets to make her feel grand by not celebrating it the way she imagined it to be (another minus 50 for the man- making it a total of -100).

.............continued............ (give ur comments on above in da meantime)