I don’t know where our society is heading? Why do women enjoy showing off their bodies? Each one of them. There’s no difference b/w a posh or a poor area . How can they wear those tight, body-hugging clothes n pull-up those caprice(half-pants) . For sometime only young girls were doing so (maybe their moms thought guys get attracted to bodies so let them show till they get married). Years ago it was a girl’s fair face and much before that a girl’s house-keeping skills, but now it all seems distant. Guys accept openly that they drool for bodies .Coming to think of it, Boys are to be blamed equally for wearing those tight jeans that shows their parts as well. Why should only women be blamed??…Most of all I cant believe aunties roaming around w/out dupatta n worst of all I cant believe those shameless, honour-less Husbands who let their wives display their assets ,skin n everything n they just go around wid them arm in arm thinking this is what TRUE LOVE is all about ,making people OGLE at the body u won that shows wat a Lucky MAN u are…. But one day this body will speak its own mind n it wont compromise…then u will know!!
On the other extreme there r males who blame females for everything, cover them up from head to toe but still harbour ill-feelings for them when they r outside the house. They r overly-Suspicious (shakki-mizaaj)…someone just tells them a story n they create whole films out of that-plainly n simply the work of Satan…
For years I pondered on the translation of SURAH-UN-NAS..thinking what’s meant by the “evil whispers of devil” (waswas-il-khannas) …now I know that SATAN whispers bad feelings in the heart of men about their wives, sisters n other women..n so they blame n murder them, for “karo-kari” just coz they talked in a friendly way with another male. I also know y Allah likes those who resolve conflicts b/w a husband n wife n hates those who create them..
even if women TRY to guard themselves against those prying eyes still they get blamed that “these women must hav done something to excite those men” ( a true example =4 women BURIED ALIVE in Pakistan a month ago after being shot n still bleeding-but not dead-coz thy wanted to marry of their own choice)…
What’s the difference b/w these JAHIL ,LECHER Tribesmen n educated men who doubt their females. I know. These illiterates call it “Mard-ki-izzat”
and these city men call it "possessiveness" !!
and these city men call it "possessiveness" !!
27 comments:
Yeah liked this post........but tell me about the solutions.......
lovely post :) made me angry thinking about those senseless males out there. but i wont just blame the men, there are females behind them sometimes who raise them up like that.. man we have such Jaahil awaam. :( makes me upset!
I like the way you think. I seriously hope more of our people can think the same way.
Azar, i just presented 2 extreme sides of both genders in our society. my job is done on this blog. u MEN tell us the soultion!
@Sarah: jee thankooo.,,,,Darls !!
@Tauqeer :where do u pop up from all of a sudden n then vanish again? i wanna see ur blog too...
and thanx for appreciating. and btw very few ppl. think like me. i m mostly labelled a conservative ,extremist by ppl !
If you are educated, moderately liberal and have seen ur mother working very hard. Then, this will not happen.
Solutions are dependent on the situations.
The solution is "Awareness" . I think generation X will less about these kinds of situation.
I know ur background and i really admire ur disposition. keep it that way. u really r different. mark my words !
I dont know whether you calling "Possessiveness" a bad thing to have. and I'm confused here.. A person who truly feels possessive of someone would never let world know the bad side of that person till he is alive as its the most embarrassing moment(when one gets embarrassed about him/herself) where one's TRUST is broken.
Real ex:- an year back a young couple were found dead in their apartment in Bangalore, Husband had Killed wife and committed suicide with NO Note! Investigation revealed that Husbands laptop had proofs of wife having extra-martial relationship!!
Possessiveness is not bad, but on what type of person it develops makes it so!
TRUST is there that is why there are relationships which are not broken yet. The worst part of TRUST is that it can be easily MISUSED!!!
'Deciding everything on Assumptions..' foolish thing to do. It must start with assumptions but the assumptions must also be validated. And sometimes seeing is believing is the only means to validate these assumptions.
You forgot to talk about Open-Relationship part which is a Name given by High-Class, Highly Educated Open Minded people to "Cheating Openly each other(or being a whore with each other's consent)". This could easily fit as an answer for your question "..I cant believe those shameless, honor-less Husbands who let their wives display their assets, skin n everything n they just go around wid them arm in arm.."
You might be wondering what is it I'm referring to when I call true possessiveness, Well, I'm talking about those people who all their life continuously fight about their own temptations, emotions and the hormonal call from the human body's biological needs to wait for that someone who will become their soul-mate, who will be their first and last!, whom they hope and trust to consider themselves as the first and last person of theirs too.. they deserve to be possessive and you cant call them Bad. If so what was need for being what they are? The real question is how many of these people's wait has been justified till now and how many will be in future???
"..But sometimes no matter how much you love someone they just cant love you back in the same way.. And living with a person who cant love you back the same way is way lonelier than being alone!"
These are my feelings, I might be wrong, coz I'm still unmarried, I never had that kind of a friend or relationship either! But I think I'm and will be POSSESSIVE and I'll consider myself Lucky if I can find a soul-mate who is also POSSESSIVE about me!
|: True what you said.
And i'm following you now. :D Don't get mad at me :$
@Catgirl,well I only see following Islam is the solution.Islam asks us to cover our self,it doesn't mean wearing veil but only covering up and we shouldn't socialize with the opposite gender without any real reason or need.
BTY a really candid post.
LOL! I DID read the post. :P
We can't say anything to the girls or the guys. Aaj kal, the response we get is "it's my life" or "it's a personal" issue. :/
And i'm waiting for uni to start. not in any uni at the moment. :D
@AT : May GOD hav tonnes of mercy on the uni and the uni girls wherever u r heading...!!
and about the youngster's response ..umm ..y do i hav a feeling u r ALSO one of those 'burgers' ?? right na??
@Dumberer : i know many girls who hav been victims of this so-called "possessiveness". If it goes to extreme it turns into suspicion. possessiveness CANNOT be practised. u cannot always be around the lady u love. at some point u will hav to give her the space to talk to other ppl, even males,o or to go out of the house or to enjoy without YOu being the object of her affection. Possessiveness is something that goes out of control w/out u realizing it. you just cannot draw a boundary. it's BEST not to act that way. if islam din't promote it, then it's not wise to impose it on ur woman.
and about u ACTUALLY DREAMING U WUD LOVE A POSSESSIVE WOMAN ===== FORGET IT!!
you r a man afterall (Muslim or not). MEN cannot take possessiveness. they can't even take being asked y they came late, y they dint pick up the phone and what they r thinking, y they r disturbed!! men do not like to share so much. and they CANNOT BE POSSESSED or else woman wud hav been allowed polygamy too ! Men can handle 4 women. but he can't belong to only ONE OF THEM. so BEWARE..it's easier said than done!
u wud HATE to have A WIFE WHO ACTUALLY WANTS TO POSSESS YOU!!!
Me? Burger? :P lol.
then ? bun-kebab? or a wannabe?? come ohhhnnnn...come out wid it!
I'm nothing. :P I don't live in burgerland. :D
hehehe,,,ya same here...i must say then u r a true wanna-be!
How am I a wanna be? -_- do you have gtalk or msn?
yeah..i do. but i will add u up 2moro...right now. am having realllllllll bad flu...n i m literally typing wid my eyes on the roof 'coz i cant keep my nose down... :-((((
oh! Get well soon then ^_^ go rest!
i added someone at uglyduckling91@hotmail.com
i hope it dusn't turn out to be anyone uglier than U :PPPP
LOL! That's not me :P
it's abdullahtariq91@live.com
I knew a man who was exactly how you described! His girlfriend was so loyal but he was still extremely suspicious and made their lives hell. We all kept telling her to leave him...eventually she did.
Thank god I ended up with a husband who shares my same ideals (allowing me to stay covered in hijab, but doesn't try to keep me locked up!!!)
yeah..i know our eastern men are so much suspecting of women. don't know what sort of inferiority complex some of them breed !
When people forget the purpose of their Creation, they feel empty and of no value, so they try attaching their value desperately to whatever their present state seems to promise to give them any. For nowadays, the media that has engulfed everyones' lives screams out to people to show off as much skin as possible to make them feel more worthy or valuable. And any empty-headed person will fall victim to this call. Except for those who realise their true purpose in life and live for it.
Salam :)
Your blog is very good Mashallah. You have well thought out topics that are interesting to the reader. Continue your great work! We cant wait Inshallah for your next reads :)
you already have checked our blog...but you can subscribe to keep updated for ours if you want. lol.
Salams
...i loved this...so very thought provoking...mash'allah :) ...cant wait to keep reading! xoxo farah
Dear Ms.
You simply look confused. You call it extreme when women are asked to cover their bodies on the other hand you object on their showing up the vital parts.
Secondly, mere quoting a sentence or words from Quran with out knowing its meaning and its back gruoud is not advisable.
Here are some quotes from Quran. Hope it will help you out.
Quran [Surah Araaf 7:27] O you Children of Adam! Let not Shaitan seduce you, in the same manner as He got your parents out of the Garden, stripping them of their clothing, to expose their shame. For he, and his tribe watch you from a position where you cannot see them. We made the evil ones friends only to those without Iman without faith.
Quran [An Noor 24:31] And say to the believing women that they should lower their gaze and guard their private parts, that they should not display their beauty and ornaments except what appears thereof, that they should draw their veils over their bosoms and not display their beauty except to their husbands, their fathers, their husband's fathers, their sons, their husbands' sons, their brothers or their brothers' sons, or their sisters' sons, or their women, or the slaves whom their right hands possess, or male servants free of physical needs, or small children who have no sense of the shame of sex, and that they should not strike their feet in order to draw attention to their hidden ornaments. And O you Believers! turn you all together towards Allah, that you may attain righteousness.
Regards
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