Desi Tarrka ;-)

Oh well.. I don’t get it. Why should I burn incense at the family altar esp. on those branches that have sought abode in a foreign land?  I just CANNOT create fuss over whoever comes from abroad to visit us “desi relatives”. When someone drops by from within Pakistan, they call and inform and come over. But with foreign people, everyone is out to call them when they come here –only to know they are sleeping ‘coz of jet lag. Then inviting them over accommodating your schedule to their ease? Why? Why do rules get broken for people who come from a foreign land? The whole week in your house is spent with your mom finding  gifts to give away and planning out dishes, recipes, sleepover arrangements, making sure the A.C. is working fine… blah blah ! “Oho. Unkay bachay Qourma naheen kha saktay. It’s too oily. Let’s make spaghetti for the li’l ones!”, “ Array..they don’t like kheer. Let’s have 2 flavors of ice-cream. Dunno what will be the elder’s choice !” DUHHH!!

And on top of all our TAYYARI , these foreign Pakis come to pour a soggy bag. “God! There’s was so much traffic and pollution. It’s so hot in here we don’t even turn on the fans in America. How do u guys live in this country?”(fanning themselves with the just-adorned dupatta)

“You know there was a bearded fellow with a cap and he stopped our car to ask for directions. All the time we were looking at his jacket. God forbid if the Mullah had a gun in it. Talibans are all around you know !”

“Which Aunty Aneesa you r talking about? Oh. She lived next to our house? Ummm… maybe I was just a baby when we settled abroad. So I don’t remember.” (try reminding that girl that she actually broke the dolls of Aneesa Aunty’s daughter and was mostly found in her house). 

Then all aunties and cousins in the family suddenly change their stance of not meeting each other and are ready to out do each other in trying to please the ‘baher walay rishtaydaar”. There are no more any tiring office work,  kids’ exams, hectic schedules, busy life etc. – nothing at all -that can prevent them from calling, arranging visits and pleading the family to stay at their house.

And God forbid if they have to attend a wedding with their grown up kids. Even if you are a stranger, just look around for 2 separate clusters in the hall. One of ogling guys hovering above their Maxi-adorned daughter and the other of Paki girls giggling with their fair, blonde son.  The girl will not even be half interested, looking at the spineless creatures around her with a tilted smirk residing her face. She would be telling them it’s difficult for them to get a Visa and support their studies abroad without working hard- saying in her mind , * Oh. No no no. Am not gonna support you abroad. So forget about marrying me for that purpose* ! Their son however is busy feeding the honey-chicky bees around him with his exaggerated stories of what a cool, gothic musician and college drop-out he is. And then they exchange hotmail ids. After one chat, all girl cousins are out to kill each other with jealousy over how much SHE knows him and his choices- eating, sleeping, blabbering habits - -- BLEARGH!!

What? Why are you looking at me like this? You wanted to get engaged too NA? But your cousin who went back to the foreign land (after spending 2 days at your home too), just asked you on Facebook, "Oh what was your name again? Were you wearing blue at the wedding?"  
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