"CATGIRL" -Yup! That's Me...!!

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So once again I traverse the deep seas of my innate passion that at times submerges itself beneath a calm n naive facade but is raging n thrashing in the realm of my heart !! And so the mystery of Catgirl unfolds once again to all who are still mesmerized by my perseverance and many more who are yet to be in awe of it !! Catgirl working undercover as a teacher N Blogger henceforth pronounces herself a hard-core feminist !!! A girl out to protect the "woman-cause' in the world of self-loving male; A girl who would do anything she is capable of to restore the image of women which has been tarnished, even in the modern society ! Catgirl Strikes again !!! (my logo since 12 years)

Sunday, June 5, 2011

Why men withdraw their love for some time!

My topic today is the “Cave Behavior of Men”- Why men suddenly become silent and stop sharing!

The first 3 months in any relationship have been proven to be the best by all writers in the world. It is called the perfect phase. Both of you agree on many important (though broader only) aspects of life. You share fun times, adventures, a li’l secret from the past, and your desires to live a happy life together. Time flies by. You chat, talk on phone for hours into midnight. Love blossoms and you feel like screaming out aloud to the world that you have met your perfect man/woman!
Facebook status is updated with lovey-dovey messages, eating-out is common, and all ur girlfriends know about this guy.
And then the blossoming sun starts heating up when the initial 3 months pass by!
One fine day yo realize that your man is not sharing as much as he used to, he seems distant-though not rude- but indifferent to your questioning. Even if u put forth a problem of yours which would have normally engaged him in a conversation , he just utters syllables like "Ok”…"Hmm”.. "Will see”.. and You are aghast!
There r 2 ways how u THINK u should deal with it
  1.          Ask him "Darling r u upset? Is your mood off because of me?”
  2.      “Ok. Fine. If u don’t wanna tell just go to hell.!”
Problem is both approaches are wrong. Your guy is  trying to focus on some of his urgent problem and he needs time to go ‘into his cave’ and think about it. Do not push him, cajole him "plzz bugs bunny talk to me " or intimidate him  "if u won’t talk then…"  . And plz don’t think its because of you –if it really isn’t.


Men don’t like to share their problems coz it makes them feel vulnerable. Just like women like to discuss and share their problems men like to think about it alone. At those times he would be thankful to you if you can take care of yourself and stop being an emotional burden for him. Give him space. Do your own thing. Don’t pester him. No matter how Great a communication u had wid him in the past he will have his ‘cave days’. If u wud follow him into his cave insisting that he shares he can be very rude to you. It’s an old  tribe-women’s theme “Don’t follow him into the cave or u will get burnt by the dragon!”. For example, he might NOT want to say those things like “leave me alone” , “ why r u looking for trouble. I didn’t say anything”, “Just knock off” .. n blah blah…but he will say it!

So the best thing at these times is to really ‘leave him alone’. Don’t whine/complain and most of all don’t blame yourself. Call a girlfriend (but not to cry over his behavior), go to the parlor, listen to music and wait (at least 1 week) for him to come back to his normal self….
And then how to ask him what happened to his problem. I will tell u in my next post!

Oh n yes Don’t punish him for coming back by retaliating what he said to you. This might make him retreat into his cave for a longer period!

_______________________*********************_____________________________
Do you wan to know what to do when your man has mood problems?

Do you realize how women ruin the relationship by ourselves?

31 comments:

That Girl said...

Aw I love this post. It is so true. Men definitely don't like to talk about their feelings, but I think sometimes they fail to tell the girl that something is bothering them, so the girl just assumes something is wrong with her and that she has upset him. Although men like to keep to themselves, I don't think there is anything wrong with that, but I think it is important for them to actually tell the girl that they are going through something and that they need space. That way the girl can stop jumping to conclusions and give him his space.

Men are strange creatures!

desigirl said...

hii catgirl
tis is desigirl n i LUV ur blog. im a feminist too and following u now.

wish i cud move on frm 1 perfect phase wid 1 guy n go 4 d nxt 1 aftr tat. heyy only kidding:)
visit me at desigirl28.blogspot.com

CATGIRL !! said...

Hey 'THAT GIRL" thanks for giving ur time to my post..well if men did really take teh 'time' to tell da girls wats on their minds ..wudnt dat solve all problems? trust me i hav tried dat..i just hav to be amind reader n lemme tell u patience pays off...justt waittt on ur dear one n he will come bak!!

CATGIRL !! said...

desi girl.... m gonna hit ur blog now...

Blue Pearl said...

Salaam alaikum 7abibti, I love that you writing more regularly and tackling some great real-day topics at the same time. Thanks for the great post today:) love and hugs

Kiran Ashraf said...

u are v right..man arent that open enough to share their problems.they usually think on things in solitude.great post u are really good in all this relationship advice n stuff.good job :)

Perception said...

Have to send the loink of this post to all my exes...wish they had understand this simple fact and my life could have been so much simpler...

CATGIRL !! said...

hey my pearl u r bakkk..thank u yaaar

@Kiran: thanks for being a consistent motivator

@Jaali: i replied on ur blog :-)))

Deepika said...

its well told..

Oz said...

OOOOO WOW! Your blog has transformed into something magnificent. You should write a book on such issues!

AND YES, being a guy, i totally agree with what you said. We go into our caves and we need time :-)

Nice, Glad to be back into the Blogging world.

PS: I wrote three new posts since i vanished long ago...

Sweta said...

so true....i hv a sayng among y frenz- "if u know 1 man, u knw ALL"!!!! LOL

MarieHarmony said...

Your post is really good and so true. Great insight into men's minds!
Men don't show their feelings - they have been told to be strong.
It took me ages to understand my husband silences. Before I was blaming myself and asking him again and again what is the problem. Obviously he was more and more rude with me.
Now I go on with my life when he feels this way, or just sit down with him in silence.
After a while he is able to talk to me a bit and we figure things out together when and if possible.

Love your blog by the way, don't comment always but enjoy reading. Stay well CatGirl.

Richard said...

writing contest....My blog Amish Stories is having its first ever contest this week. The First prize winner will win 2 tickets to tour the farm where the 1985 move "Witness" staring Harrison Ford and Kelly Mcgillis was made in Strasburg,Pa . This farm is now Amish owned, and the family has given permission for folks to tour their farm. This may be the last time anyone will be able to walk and see the same things that Harrison Ford and the other actors saw during the making of "Witness". The Witness tour should last about 2.5 hours. In addition to the Witness farm tour tickets, 1st prize winner will also receive 2 tickets for Jacobs choice. There will also be a 2nd place prize, which will be 2 tickets for the Amish Homestead. Please go to My blog www.AmishStorys.com for contest details, and more information on the prizes. Richard from the Amish settlement of Lebanon county.

Emmy said...

LOL amazing post! Thanks for this advice... I needed it.

Bessy said...

I love you!!!!!!! :) Haha.
This blog definitely rings true.

khan said...

U girls dont have works to to do.... y every time men have to tell wats there in they mind y cant girls say y they dont have mouth to say... the catgirl, desigirl,Kiran Ashraf ,Deepika .. this r all mad females... dont listen to them... so they think that they well be popular...

U madness u people talk...

Alcina said...

Hey nice
Your blog talks a lot cat girl by the cat girl ;)
Will jump on from time to time..
And the post above is just the right mix of every emotion related to the then phase..

Alcina

Alcina said...

P.S.-I notice your name of fb and i see a similarity :) ..I too have a fb prof in which the name is Princess Rulezz :D :D

CATGIRL !! said...

@Deepika n Sweta :thanx girl

@OZ: i m honored wid ur appreciation for my blog

@Mary" GOD! i can't believe it then someone who is married wud find my advice helpful...well truly speaking its just a gist of wat i hav read thru relationship books/// helping me out a lot...

CATGIRL !! said...

Emmy: thank u girl

@bessy... love u toooo

@khan: lolz..thanks for making an account just to comment. m honored !!

@Alcina : actually all of us girls ruleee ( the hearts of men ;-)))

Zarna said...

this is great advice!! men don't like being pushed to talk about their feelings!

aakash said...

kind of true...

aJ

Tauqeer said...

Spellings my dear spellings...

Otherwise I liked this post!

Baiba1205 said...

well said :)

New follower ;)

-B-

Alice X said...

Guys don't like to talk about feelings the way a woman does, they definitely need their space sometimes to sit and mull things over.

men, dating and relationships

Aneebaba said...

:-) Really liked this post Sis CG - seems like I've read this somewhere before though ;-)

I think it's true, we do tend to deal with our issues internally for a bit (one week though? I hope not! lol) before we share, if we share at all. Whether it's about feeling vulnerable or maybe we don't want to seem weak or that we need help, seeing as we are told to be strong, etc. Yet, I think it is healthy to share one's problems, especially if it is with one's spouse or in some cases for others, their girlfriend.Either way, it can lead to tension, as you mentioned, so you ladies need to be sure how to deal with your man. :-)

Well, onto part 2!

CATGIRL !! said...

Anees::dats true..thanks for always commenting on my post. it keeps me encouraged !

Anees said...

Aww, you're welcome! That's sweet of you to say. Wow, that was in July! :-)

Hope your ok over there with the flooding - I'm gong to be getting some pictures of the conditions insha'allah, from you-know-who ;-) *blush*

Rachna Jha said...

no....u sd u cn wait fr one week right?bt what if ur man behaves wd u for 4 long months........widout gvng u any damn explanation......wat if he is happy wd d outsid eworld n he gets irritated wn u call him up...??????????hw long cn u hold ur patience??/////

Rachna Jha said...

ya ur ri8......waiting for one week is ok.....bt i waited fr 4 longgg months...cn u blv dis?dat is 120 days.................!!!!!!!!!! how long cn u keep d patience wd u?

CATGIRL !! said...

Rachna.. the minimum waiting time according to proven men pdychology is 3 weeks and maximum is 6-8 weeks. if he doesn't see u anyyywhere around him like neither in person, nor sms/text, mutual friends, weddings, park etc. (inshort completely invisible u r to him)..then he MUST call u on the 6th week, if he doesn't wait till the 8th week and after that u can be SURE to move on...
LOOK men's brains - the left side- teases him after 6 weeks if he misses sumthing in his life. his emotions appear after 6 weeks for any person so if he hasnt contacted u till then u need to move on.,, if u've EVER contacted him in between u need to again go on a 6-8 weeks trial ...too hard to swallow a pil,,BUT THAT IS IT!

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