"CATGIRL" -Yup! That's Me...!!

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So once again I traverse the deep seas of my innate passion that at times submerges itself beneath a calm n naive facade but is raging n thrashing in the realm of my heart !! And so the mystery of Catgirl unfolds once again to all who are still mesmerized by my perseverance and many more who are yet to be in awe of it !! Catgirl working undercover as a teacher N Blogger henceforth pronounces herself a hard-core feminist !!! A girl out to protect the "woman-cause' in the world of self-loving male; A girl who would do anything she is capable of to restore the image of women which has been tarnished, even in the modern society ! Catgirl Strikes again !!! (my logo since 12 years)

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

Of Possessive Mothers and (over)Obedient Sons!

It had been seen in past decades that women who were victims of domestic violence were married into a joint family with a horrible ‘witch-of-a-mother-in-law’ (or nund) creating havoc in her life by provoking the husband against her. Women who were barely matric pass, almost girlish when they were married to older guys with a big age gap and no mental compatibility.
However, in the past decades it has been seen that the rise of literacy has led women to have atleast a bachelor’s degree before being married off in a literate family with few family members only. Also the in-laws remain calm and contended with their daughters at least for a longer period than before.

Within the set up described above there are mothers who are overly-possessive about their son and tend to get too involved in his affairs. As they are educated and have a high profile in society no one thinks that such fine lady can keep her son and her husband so hen-pecked.!! The son obeys her every command and unknowingly submits to her will which means limiting the free-will of his wife to the extent that there’s no way out than divorce (which most probably the woman seeks in today’s era).

  • Why is it so?
  •  Is there really a negative side to motherly love?
 I would say that people who create grievances between husband and wife have been cursed in Islam and those who make them settle an argument have been given good predicament.

My point remains that why cannot mothers let go of their sons esp. if he’s an only son?

  • Isn’t it sheer insecurity? 
  • Are they so afraid that the only submissive male in her life will also go away?
  •  Is it embedded in her own past when she was mistreated by her father or husband? 
  • When a mother starts acting like a villain in her son’s marriage it makes her fall down from her pedestal –her highest place in the life of mankind since existence- why oh why?

I have seen marriages being broken b/c of mothers actually swearing by their honor that they wouldn’t forgive her son if he doesn’t give divorce to a girl. It actually happened with a close friend. The mother came happily to ask for Rishta. Nikah got done on the 3rd day as the guy flew abroad. After one year he started cutting contact and then one day the couple’s mothers met whereby the guy’s mom said “we are sorry, I want my son to get married to my niece. I have nothing against your girl, but I can’t let this nikah continue”. No amount of persuasion, solutions bore any fruit. And my friend remained a bachelorette (without rukhsati- “living together”).

This is just one instance. There will be countless others. The only difference in the in-laws trouble this time around is we are talking of educated, sensible women sometimes even God-fearing ones-women who are seen with respect in  society. With such a great social status of the mother, at most the guy gets blamed for breaking the relationship whereas men as STUPID as they usually are in close relationships remain clueless. Once again this argument never justifies their inability to GRASP a situation and solve it.

Men need to know they are able, adult and allowed by Islam to keep their wives separately and solve matter. Torturing a girl mentally or physically deprives the mother of her ‘heavenly status’, a boy of his good herring in heavens and leads all those in this relationship suffer in their lives for a long time. Mothers please think again. Even of you are bringing up a toddler. Will you be this way?

  • Will you be able to understand the needs of the newly-weds instead of comparing ‘attention span’ your child once (now in your arms) used to give you to that of the new girl?? Tell me?
p.s. Guys you also tell me esp. those who can give their lives for their mother.

  • Would you choose your wife over your mother if your spouse is right? Clearly? 
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do read How to expect less in a relationship?? to save urself relationship trouble.
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